May Angels Lead You In
by Kyoshi Slickfish
Summary: One shot. What would you think of me now, so lucky, so strong, so proud? Kakashi and Rin reflect on their past together and each find closure in life at their wedding.


1.10.2006 - This story has been revised! Thanks for all of the initial comments on this, my first Naruto fic!

**Disclaimer:** Naruto and characters are property of Masahi Kishimoto. I do not own them, only this story. Lyrics by Jimmy Eat World, from their song, _"Hear You Me"_.

* * *

**  
May Angels Lead You In**

_And if you were with me tonight,  
I'd sing to you just one more time.  
A song for a heart so big,  
God wouldn't let it live.  
May angels lead you in.  
Hear you me my friends.  
On sleepless roads the sleepless go,  
may angels lead you in._

Hatake Kakashi's gaze travels from the beautiful face of the young woman pressed against his right down the alabaster skin of the arm draped around his neck. Brown hairs tickles his skin through the mask covering his face, but he doesn't have an urge to brush it away, but rather, to run his rough fingers through the silky locks. For as long as he can remember, Rin is always by his side. Now, it is time for him to lead his angel home.

Her lavender eyes well with tears. How is it that they made it this far, in their lot of life? How is it that after all they've been through, the births and the deaths, seeing each other at their bests and worsts, and yet...they are still side by side? She can see it now, her snowy white kimono a beacon of hope against the perilous night sky. She can see them, reminding her that they will always be together, no matter where life takes them. She can see the end of it all, the pain, the crying, the unknown. And Rin smiles.

* * *

There were several reasons why the names of Rin and Kakashi were famous in Konohagakure. From the beginning, their elite sensei couldn't and wouldn't refuse to boast about his genius team, and the same went for the young ninja when Konoha's Yellow Flash became the Yondaime Hokage. Not only were their talents being honed by the greatest warrior in the village, but they had quite an upper-hand on him. It wasn't known amongst his colleagues that Yondaime had once agreed to play strip poker with his sensei, several beautiful women, and his three underage genin. Furthermore, it was Yondaime's stack of open manuscripts from Jiraiya-sensei that young Kakashi discovered while waiting in his office. Kakashi became so engrossed in them that he didn't even notice Yondaime enter until he dashed across the room and tore the boy away from them.

Yes, memories like these were useful in reminding sensei that if Kakashi was old enough to create his own jutsu, read "Itcha Itcha Paradise", and consume alcohol given to him by a harem of women, he was old enough to lead ANBU ranks before he was out of his teens.

But there was truly one reason why they were who were they were, where they were, and they would never forget him.

Uchiha Obito.

* * *

Kakashi sighs, this time unable to push the guilt out of his mind. He gazes at his remaining comrade and remembers that this is what Obito would have wanted: to be by her side. He remembers how Rin is what he wanted, and then he regretfully remembers the foolishness from that day, how childish he used to act even though Kakashi always thought he was the leader of their team. Of course, he has grown since then, realizing that rules sometimes are to be broken and that childishness can be forgiven, but if it wasn't for _his_ childishness, Obito would've been there instead of becoming the reluctant Copy Nin Kakashi, and just maybe, the gods will be kind enough to let him be with his sensei and, perhaps, his father.

Only in his way of life is being a genius a curse.

Looking over at Rin with his black eye, he can smile. His childishness made him blind to the amazing woman beside him. And even though it cost him his life, Obito made him realize just how amazing she is and how she deserves to be loved, although Kakashi always feels he isn't exactly the person qualified. Born of an average clan in Konoha, Rin proved herself to be the most able medic nin in their class, as well as the pacifist, and sometimes reluctant referee, between Obito and himself. Her chakra control definitely exceeds his abilities, and her medical skills undoubtedly saved Kakashi's vision when he accepted Obito's parting gift. But what Kakashi loves most about her is that Rin has that uncanny ability to prove him wrong.

"Go Rin!" he once bellowed at her on that fateful day as he gripped sensei's kunai and prepared to face off against dozens of enemy ninja.

But she never did.

Kakashi remembers all of the people who left him in life. First his mother he never knew, and then his father, killed by the shame of the village both Hatake men swore to defend. Then his best friend Obito, and eventually, his beloved sensei. But never Rin. Kakashi knows she will be with him until the end of time, especially now.

He shifts uncomfortably in the starched, thick material of his black robes. Then Kakashi shifts again under the weight of her stare, and Rin continues to gaze lovingly at him across the altar of the temple. She drinks in the rare sight of Kakashi's handsome face void of his familiar black mask and hitae-ate, and her stare rests on Obito's Sharingan. She can almost see Obito with his playful pout, jealous of Kakashi's latest fortune, but quietly reminds him that this is Kakashi's promise to the late Uchiha that he will take care of her.

And Rin assures him that even until this very moment, he has.

* * *

Rin never left Kakashi's side, even after he tried his hardest to push her away after Obito's death. She often found herself staring at the silver-haired boy for hours on end while Kakashi stared at the memorial baring Obito's name. There was only one time he acknowledged her presence during his vigil.

"It should have been me," he said flatly, not bothering to look at the shocked girl.

That day, Kakashi grabbed his headband and pulled it over the Sharingan eye. Rin perceived it was an act of shame at first, until that feeling was overwhelmed by the pain from its constant activation. She didn't see Kakashi for days after that, and she constantly fought the urge to storm over to his apartment and demand that he, in the least, talked to her. He did promise, after all, but Rin instantly gave up her selfish thoughts when she remembered that perhaps Kakashi was the one who needed to be taken care of for now.

When she finally gathered the courage to face Kakashi, Rin bumped into their sensei first. He was exiting Training Area 3, and to her surprise, a frown and a small, bleeding cut on the cheek graced his usually cheery face.

"Sensei-" she started, but was interrupted with the sudden shriek of a thousand birds amongst the trees behind the Yondaime. There was a loud boom, and then silence returned.

Seeing the worry crease his beautiful student's face, Yondaime smiled and ruffled her hair. "He'll be okay," he said before continuing on his way.

With a huff, Rin grabbed his arm and pulled him lower to her eye level. She closed her eyes as she focused her cool chakra onto her palm and placed it to her sensei's cheek. The cut was gone.

"He'll definitely be okay," said Yondaime with an even brighter smile. He ruffled her hair once more in thanks and now was allowed to leave.

Rin entered the training grounds. Her heart sank when she saw the mess before her. There were trees with gaping holes in them, their branches fallen to the ground in heaps, and amongst the foliage, was the shaking form of Hatake Kakashi, who at fourteen years old, wielded more power than men twice his age.

"Kakashi!" she cried, dropping her package to the ground and running to her friend. Rin wrapped her arms around his chest, but Kakashi shrugged her off.

"Kakashi, please don't be like this. I can't take it anymore," Rin pleaded. Her voice sounded weak and trembled at the sudden sight of the exposed Sharingan. Its red color burned deep with fury and powerful chakra behind it. "I need you."

Blinking, Kakashi gazed down at Rin, who had dropped to the grass below. Crystalline tears covered her face, and suddenly her sobs thundered in his ears. It was Obito telling him that Rin wasn't supposed to cry. Ninja weren't supposed to cry.

_NO! Rin's not supposed to cry._

"Rin, I'm sorry," Kakashi said softly. He turned away. "I don't think I can keep my promise."

"Keep your promise? What is wrong with you!" Rin screamed, her anger getting the best of her. Kakashi held his breath; he had never heard his teammate yell, let alone, yell at him. "I don't need you to take care of me like I'm some kind of glass doll, I can take care of myself! Obito just wanted us to stay together; he wanted our team to stay strong for each other!"

Her voice dropped almost as soon as it elevated. "He knew how I felt about you, but he was good enough to respect my feelings. And you don't even have the decency to treat me like a person, let alone your teammate." Rin's purple eyes blazed against Kakashi's two mismatched eyes, and the jonin lowered them to the ground. Leaves and dirt covered his feet.

"I care about you Kakashi," she whispered. "Even just...as a friend."

She watched Kakashi's profile; she could tell through the mask his lips were pressed in a tight line, the exact expression he used when in conflict with some mental foe. Kakashi reached up, pulled his headband over the Sharingan, and turned his back on Rin.

"It should have been me," he said quietly.

Kakashi didn't move and kept his eyes lowered on the ground. He watched Rin's shadow as it danced on the grassy floor and followed its owner to the exit of the training grounds. He listened until the crunching of foliage faded into silence, and when he sensed he was alone again, Kakashi raised his eyes in Rin's direction. Surprised by a small package in front of him, Kakashi trudged forward, fighting off the fatigue caused by over extending the use of his chakra. He dropped to the ground, shoulders slumped, and opened the package. It was a bowl of Rin's miso soup, his favorite, with eggplant. Kakashi knew why Obito adored her, and he sighed.

He was upset that he didn't know how to love her back.

* * *

Rin giggles as Kakashi fidgets for the hundredth time in his suit. Upon hearing the small noise, Kakashi's eyes dart to meet her amethyst orbs with the same terror as an animal caught in a shuriken crossfire. Finally, after a lifetime of hopeless battles, the Copy Nin faces fear as the two maintain their visual contact. But this time, as he expects, Rin is there to comfort him with her brilliant smile. The stripes on her cheeks are gone, but are pleasantly replaced with a rosy blush and an aura of genuine happiness. Perhaps for once in his life, he is doing something right through her. Actually, she is probably always right, and at some point, Kakashi can relax and follow her lead. Somehow things seem much simple around her.

He remembers that in her arms, everything gets better.

* * *

There were hundreds, probably a thousand people gathered in the streets of Konoha. Some were crying, some cheering with a drink in their hands. For all they knew, the mountains stopped crumbling, the river stopped overflowing, and they were safe now. They regained their lives without fear, their land, and their freedom from that demonic Kyuubi.

But she lost her sensei. And now, Rin was afraid she'd lost Kakashi as well.

As much as Konoha needed their ninja to protect the village, they didn't need to lose their entire military, and that was the reason why she was forbidden to chase after the Nine Tails. There were dying men in the fields, but there was no need to waste another life by sending the medic nins after them, and especially not someone as talented as Rin. Although she was needed in the hospital, Rin felt a greater need to be by Kakashi's side, but she stayed at her post to serve her village. At least she was saved from having to see another teammate fall, unlike him.

Kakashi watched as Yondaime-sensei deftly maneuvered himself to the belly of the Kyuubi, but even his Sharingan had a hard time discerning the difference between flying debris and his blonde hero. His eyes widened when he recognized the hand signs now molded with sensei's hands, and his eyes almost popped out of his head when Kakashi saw the child, who was fairly new to living, now begun to carry a burden, much heavier than Kakashi's own. As fast as his brain could register what was happening, loud, windy shrieks of the vanishing youma deafened his years, and Kakashi's body raced to try to catch his sensei before he hit the ravaged ground. But there was no use. The Yellow Flash was gone, giving himself for a cause just as Obito did. Kakashi slammed his fists onto the rocky floor, angry that another of his teammates reached glory before he could, and even angrier that Kakashi realized that he couldn't think of a single cause to live or die for.

"Did you hear? The Kyuubi is gone! Yondaime-sama saved us and the ninja are coming back!"

Rin had been treating dozens of the injured for over five hours and felt her chakra running low. She sat as she treated the last of her patients, but knew she had to save enough to search for Kakashi. She heard the news pouring in with each new patient: the names of who survived, who died, which new jutsu they used, and how brave her sensei, the Hokage, was. And even after five hours, she heard nothing of Hatake Kakashi. She knew better; there was no way in hell Kakashi would check himself into a hospital, and if he willed himself to survive, she knew the one place to find him.

In deep contrast to the hospital's bright fluorescent lights, the sky outside was dark and the clouds above threatened to mourn for the lost of Konohagakure. Still, she ran. Passing the people gathered in the streets, the crying, the cheering, and the drinking people, Rin panted as she fought her way to the grassy fields beneath the gaze of the four Hokages.

There was no time for crying, but as she neared the memorial stone and didn't find the ninja with silver hair and slumped shoulders, she could feel the tears catching up with her to the surface. Several heavy rain drops fell onto her face, and Rin gazed above to her Yondaime-sensei and swore he was with her, crying too.

Behind the memorial, a sleeved arm and gloved hand rustled around. Rin's heart skipped beats. She moved forward, almost as if the person would disappear if she approached too quickly, and then she saw the silver hair limp over the person's head. She let her tears mix with the rain.

"It should have been..." he began.

"Kakashi!" Rin interrupted. She rushed forward and cradled her teammate's head in her arms. She felt Kakashi tense in her embreace, but she held him, never wanting to let go.

"I couldn't...I wasn't strong enough-"

Wordlessly, deftly, Rin pulled at the black material hiding Kakashi's face and pressed her lips to his. He froze at first, but then put his hands on Rin's arms, half-heartedly trying to push her away. Rin held fast to his cheeks, moving her kisses from his lips to his nose, his cheeks, his forehead, and his eyes. She wrapped her arms around his neck and began to shake as the tears flooded her face. Kakashi could feel her chest heaving against his and somehow found her warmth comforting in the rain, under the dreary skies. He suddenly felt like the boy he was, inexperienced at things non-genius fourteen year-olds should be experienced in, and not the faceless ninja assassin he trained to be. He felt scared and lonely...hell, he finally felt feelings for the first time, and in Rin's arms, Kakashi let himself succumb to the emotions he fought so hard against, but just a little.

Slowly, cautiously, Kakashi lifted a bruised hand and ran it through Rin's damp hair. It was the softest sensation, something refreshing on his chakra-burned skin. He felt her breath in his ear, warm and heavy.

"Don't you ever say that again," Rin breathed, her voice hoarse with emotion. "I'm so happy you came back."

Rin pulled away from the embrace; she looked adorable with rogue strands of damp hair falling over her face and pink, swollen lips. Although there were fresh tears in her eyes mixing with the rain, a smile crossed her face. Leave it to Rin to find something to be happy about. She ran her finger along the scar on Kakashi's face, giving thanks to Obito for watching over Kakashi, before pulling him close for another lingering kiss.

When they parted, Kakashi was disappointed to find more tears making their way down Rin's face. He reached forward and wiped them away with his thumb, but smudged some blood on her cheek. Instantly regretting his actions, Kakashi moved get away from her, but Rin clutched at his arm. She could sense his attempts to regain what he thought was composure, but was truly denial, and wrapped her arm around his middle, pulling him from the ground. There was blood on his clothes, which were torn in several places, and Rin wanted to heal him before there were any more scars.

"Let's get you back to your apartment, and I can treat you there," she said, trying her best to not let her worry or expectations shine through

The pair made their way to Kakashi's place, the jonin using Rin as support for his battle-fatigued body. He immediately collapsed on his bed, and when he did, Rin focused as much chakra as she could to ease his physical pain. Miraculously, she didn't find too much damage on Kakashi. Rin stayed a few minutes as she watched his chest rise and fall in steady, deep breaths, his closed eyes shutting out the world. Closing her own eyes and rubbing them with her palms, Rin thought of her fallen sensei and mumbled a few parting words asking Obito to take care of him now. She would have said something or spent just one more afternoon with him, if Rin only knew that moment they passed each other outside Training Area 3 would be their last together.

Rin knew there wasn't much time for regret. She barely found time to cry and properly mourn for her fallen teammates, but that time usually came when she was alone in the shower or lying in bed at night. Rin looked over at Kakashi, who seemed to be sleeping and already back to his routine of keeping her at a safe, non-emotional distance. The wary medic ninja sighed, figuring she'd have to make the way back to her apartment by herself until Kakashi's deep voice called out to her. It startled her amongst the silence of the room.

"Stay with me," he said, both of his eyes still closed. Still, Rin sensed he was honed on her presence.

Kakashi's words were neither a question nor a command, but she didn't need to be told twice. Rin kicked off her shoes and eased herself onto the large, and surprisingly soft, bed. She purposefully positioned herself with some distance between herself and Kakashi, but the latter scooted over to close the gap. He snaked an arm beneath Rin's head and the other wrapped around her waist, suddenly holding her tight and enveloping them in a sublimely intimate cocoon. Instantly, Rin broke down in tears, suddenly feeling the need to cry for her sensei, her teammate, and her lost childhood. Girls her age should be skipping about the streets, throwing themselves into mindless crushes and fancies, but she knew Kakashi's simple invitation was as far as she could allow herself in the luxuries of love. Yet, somehow she also knew that lying in Kakashi's arms was an experience of love itself, _his_ love, one that was unique, intense, and yet so subtle.

Rin's crying settled into less than a few sniffles as Kakashi stroked her brown locks. It was becoming his favorite motion whenever he was around her. Taking a deep breath, Kakashi gazed at the girl in his arms.

"I promised to take care of you," he whispered, "but I don't really know what I'm doing."

A small laugh escaped Rin's lips. "I don't think any of us ever did," she replied. "But we're trying, right?"

She yawned as she waited for Kakashi's answer. Rin may have missed it as sleep soon overtook her, but she thought she felt him nod his head before she began to dream of sunny days, jingling bells, and fingers exploring the hair on her head.

He was gone the next morning, but Rin didn't feel alone at all. She still worried, naturally, especially when later that day, she learned that Kakashi had put in an application for ANBU captain, and with his caliber of skills, he was sure to get the promotion. Perhaps Kakashi wanted to make-up for not being able to protect his Yondaime-sensei, or perhaps he wanted to test how long he could cheat death...neither of which made Rin very happy, but she learned after their night together not to expect the ordinary from Kakashi. It was not in him to maintain such intimate relationships, nor was it in her to demand one to keep him close.

Days turned to months, which naturally progressed to years, and Yondaime's surviving students Rin and Kakashi found themselves at different places in life, but they still never managed to move from the point in time when there was a group of four. Rin was privileged to train under the Legendary Sannin Tsunade and continued her new sensei's legacy by training young students as medic-nin. She frequently healed Kakashi when he returned on particularly dangerous missions, and her reward was getting to sleep wrapped up in the arms of her old teammate. Sometimes, when she was lucky, Kakashi would allow her to stay on random nights when she was not able to sleep and made her way to his apartment with dark eyes. Then he just left the door unlocked for Rin all the time, always offering his bed and a companion to go with it.

* * *

The ceremony is nice, definitely something Kakashi fancies: simple. They exchange vows, Rin's eyes sparkling as she repeats the priest's words with all of the sincerity of a child and the earnestness of the ninja she has become. But most of all, she is radiant. Kakashi has to smile, although he is afraid he might come across less as enthusiastic with his tone. He repeats the same vow he uttered to his best friend many years ago, but now, Kakashi feels the weight of his decision to bind himself to Rin, who is now _his_ Rin. He looks to the woman before him, and there is no mistaking the brilliant smile of their blonde sensei and Obito's hopefulness in her face.

* * *

One night, Kakashi returned home to find Rin sleeping in his bed. He moved to not disturb her, stripped his body armor off, and hopped into the shower. Kakashi was about to settle in next to her, but something caught his eye. He reached over, pushing the material of her sleeve up to Rin's shoulder. It was unmistakable. Rin's arm was tattooed with the same black swirl of an ANBU operative. He didn't know what to do or what to say, but just stared at the marking as if someone defaced a sacred statue, an intrusive mar on Rin's perfect skin. It was her life, and Kakashi didn't want to challenge her choices when he ignored her pleas so many times before in his _nindo_.

But it was the same tattoo that marked the end of hers.

If he would have known she would die following him, Kakashi would have stormed into ANBU headquarters and for once, thrown his fame and authority around until her status got revoked. If he had only spent more time at home, taking missions as an ordinary jonin, maybe Rin wouldn't have followed him into the dangers of enemy territory. If he had only taken care of himself and didn't worry her with the anonymous wounds and untreated gashes, Rin wouldn't have joined so she could heal him in the field, as if trying to save him from any further pain that accompanies their lifestyle. If Kakashi would have known so many were willing to lay their lives down for him, he would have buried his pride along with his father, had faith in his comrades that they were all equal, and hoped they would accept his sad attempt of living a life destined to be too damn short.

That night he found Rin sleeping with a brand new tattoo on her arm, Kakashi wrapped his arms around her like so many times before and roused her from sleep. Rin smiled and turned to bury her face into the curvature of Kakashi's muscular chest. She felt the vibrations of his voice as he whispered into her ear, "What are your dreams?"

Rin rubbed her eyes as she tried to focus on Kakashi. His face was as serious as ever. She giggled and closed her eyes. "To experience love," she replied. Rin's breathing steadied, and to Kakashi's disappointment, she was already sleeping again.

He ran his hand through her hair, shaking her shoulders lightly. Rin grunted. "Is that all?" he asked.

"What do you mean, 'is that all'? That's a lot!" Rin furrowed her eyebrows as the perplexed look on Kakashi's face told her she needed to explain it a little more. And she was having such a great dream about vacationing on a tropical island. She ran a finger along the scar on Kakashi's eye. "I want to prove that it's possible to be a great ninja and have a life at the same time. I want to take care of you. I want to get married...all of that are things I love. I want to be worthy..." Her voice trailed off.

Kakashi sighed and eased himself onto the pillow next to hers. Before he succumbed to sleep, he could've sworn he heard Rin mumble something.

Only now, as she lay dying in his arms, did Kakashi understand she said, "I want to be worthy of you."

* * *

Their vows were repeated, and thank goodness Kakashi didn't screw up, and he and his new bride share the traditional glass of sake. Even as she lifts the glass to her lips, the smile on Rin's face is unmistakable. Kakashi takes the cup away and touches her lips with his finger tips. He holds Rin's cheek in his palm, and they close their eyes as they meet in their first embrace as husband and wife.

* * *

"Thank you," Rin whispers, her voice hoarse under the strain of muttering the simple words. She coughs, and a splash of blood escapes her lips onto her cheek.

Kakashi's eyes fly open, but he immediately closes the lid over his Sharingan as it aches in overuse. He can hear the screams of men, some of their squad and some of their enemies, far in the distance behind them. Kakashi had used Chidori twice to escape the ambush just beyond the border of the Otogakure, then used more chakra to hurry through the moonlit forest with Rin injured in his arms. He stopped when Rin pleaded that traveling hurt too much, only to see wounds covering most of her body. Kakashi feels so helpless; he has the capacity to harness immense amounts of chakra, but he has no idea how to channel it to save her. He panics while Rin smiles up at him; she knows she is beyond saving and refuses to let Kakashi in on her secret. Instead, she basks in the feeling of his fingers ambling through her messy hair.

"I love you, so much...Kakashi," she breathes, the purple of Rin's eyes fading away. Kakashi feels like it is the first time hearing his name. Rin whispers it as if she's praising a great deity, and her melodious voice surrenders to the nighttime wind, calling for the gates of Heaven to open for her arrival and to remember to save a place for her _"Kakashi"_. If she only knew he is not worthy…

Kakashi holds her close; he feels absolutely useless as he clutches Rin's small frame in his arms. He tried so hard to care for her and protect her, but he now feels like their time together is insignificant when compared to the magnitude of Rin's unwavering devotion. Kakashi had given her his bed, embraces, and as much companionship that he could offer, but he should have given her a life. He should have protected her from the ninja life and cared for his own well-being. Now, in her final moments, Kakashi can only offer her illusions of what she confessed that she wanted one night long ago, which ultimately he discovers is what he wants all along, but a guy like him can not settle for now.

Holding Rin in his arms, Kakashi allows himself to cry, but only this once and only for a moment. He tosses aside the nagging voice that can preach each of the one hundred codes for shinobi conduct, but never dreams of speaking words of how he truly felt. Rocking her cold body in his arms, Kakashi cradles Rin's precious head in one hand as his fingers absentmindedly run through her silky hair. He kisses her on the lips, not sensually as a lover would, but with chaste and a hint of a decade's worth of apologies behind it.

Kakashi cries for his father whom he was not allowed to mourn, he cries for Obito whom he didn't know how to mourn, he cries for his sensei whom he refused to mourn, and now he cries for Rin, who he can't cry for. She wouldn't want him to. Kakashi learns that it isn't too late for second (or third or fourth) chances and there are things living and dying for. That just because he thinks it should be him not escaping the grip of death years before, it doesn't necessarily mean he should feel guilty about being a survivor. If it is not for Kakashi, who else will teach others what it means to be a friend, a student, a lover, as it meant to the four of Team Yondaime? Although he has to do it alone, Yondaime-sensei may have been right in his infinite wisdom all along: Kakashi will be okay, especially if the three of his comrades have anything to say about it. He will gain that which someone had said is unforgettable and losing what is irreplaceable, but by gods, Hatake Kakashi will live.

_So what would you think of me now,  
so lucky, so strong, so proud?  
I never said thank you for that,  
now I'll never have a chance.  
May angels lead you in._

* * *

I want to know what you think: please review! Thanks for reading! 

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